if whatever you do is not gonna be seen or gonna be denied then why the hell should you do it? If you would go all the way in the middle of the heat while you're completely hypotensive just for the person you're trying to make things better with to run away in the middle of the street then why the hell go? If they apologize just to act all bitchy again as if you were the one who did wrong then why the hell should you accept an apology in the first place? if you try to still make a move to fix things and being all rational and civil about it for them to just go like "i don't care" or "i'm not interested" then why the hell should u bother?? if this is all a collection of the same person then what the fuck are u thinking?? were u settling?? looks like it! should that be something you're supposed to put up with?? HELL NO!!
so dear self, being an asshole is sometimes a good solution if u're being treated like one anyways ... at least it requires much less effort and is more fun.
if u're constantly being called sick ... then u might as well act like it to earn it :D
and sometimes ... really ... it's just not worth it... and you shouldn't be sorry. And this time i'm not. I've thought i've seen weird and sick, but really this is a whole new level ... and for some reason it doesn't feel as bad, maybe i'm starting to really get used to it.
i have lots of other mean things to say but i guess i've sank low enough for one night :)
and YES, being an asshole is sometimes fulfilling ... especially with people who completely deserve it!