Thursday, February 28, 2008


I'm right now in College ...right in the middle of the corridor containing all the doctors' offices ... working on my laptop and playing Pink Floyd's "Another Brick In The Wall"


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Top That

Yesterday i broke my car radiator with my own freaking hands!!!

the weird thing is i've been feeling euphoric ever since.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Great Expectations

Ever been so moved to weird levels by nothing but a movie? Ever had the same feeling over and over by just re-watching the same thing? It's like you know what's gonna happen yet when it does, you find yourself struck in the same sense and having the same lump in your throat... To me, this movie is one of those!
I don't know what nerve or part of my brain it touches there, or maybe i do but don't wanna totally admit it to myself, to the world, or maybe i just don't want to admit it in the first place.
Which makes me wonder (like i always do): Is this normal?
Is it normal that you feel a certain resemblance between the way you feel and the way a fictional character feels? of course this is originally the whole point of literature, movies, great stories, music ... all forms of art; to make you feel. And if you do feel it, then it's a successful, great, work of art. Again, that's another way I would describe this movie.
Why am i getting so off point? God this subconscious avoidance is so unbelievable.
Bottom line is, and the real thought i want to keep wandering around here is: Whether or not you're victimizing yourself or you're really agonized by something. Why the hell is it enjoyable to watch a movie, listen to a song that exactly expresses the same thing? that makes you feel the same agony and pain all over again?
Is it that you're a sadist that enjoys seeing someone else get hurt the same way you did? Or is it just that you're such a drama queen (king in my case) that subconsciously interprets this as having your feelings understood by someone else on this earth. Or maybe, last but not least, you're just a masochist that enjoys reliving the same agony and pain through these movies/songs.
I can't but keep all those questions open without answers ... i simply don't have any to give.

I think i'll just have to agree with what Dee once wrote: It's a Virgo thing!


i was asked a really interesting question ... If you could just go back in time for just once and take it from there when would that be?!
The more interesting thing was the amount of answers i found racing through my head. My god I obviously fucked up many times.
I guess as an answer to your question then, i would pick going back to December 2005.

No specific song for the day ... :(

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Take Zillion

For some reason i don't feel fine (2alby ma2bood) and she's on my mind again. I hate it when this happens. I'm not really superstitious anymore but i can't help wondering... are both related? could something wrong be going on out there? is she alright? there's no way in hell i'm taking any more initiatives or asking again.
Seriously now, why the hell do I still care if she proved to me over and over and over again that there's no way in hell she could make it work... plus, i have been humiliated and hurt by her and this relationship more than i had ever been in my life. Not to mention the stupid things and better people i wrongfully gave up along the way ... all for nothing ... and for some reason i catch myself wondering if she's alright again?!

Please, if anyone knows where the OFF switch to this thing is, let me know.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Blue Me Away

I just came back from one of the most needed and best diving trips ever. Although it wasn't the longest, but it sure is the happy two days in the middle of a miserable year :) ... i mean the Cairo shit is piling up on me already and i haven't been in town for 12 hours yet.
Best thing about the trip was that it got me in touch with alot of things i miss. First day, first dive we went down 50 meters through the canyon of Dahab, reminded me of what underwater narcosis felt like :) ... second dive ... well there was nothing really special about that one ... except for a nosy trumpet fish that wouldn't leave me alone ... but then again i took a great picture of that :)

Yesterday was the BEST ever!!! first dive in my beloved Shark Reef-Yolanda in Ras Mohamed. 5 minutes through the dive we were greeted by a wonderful Octopus :) and guess what ... i did have the camera and took a few nice photos of it. a minute later a really nice stone fish ... another minute later a Huge Napoleon played around with us for a while ... then a murray eel ... then the napoleon again! this dive was truly unbelievable! I admit i have to thank Craig Williams who was my buddy for the dive for his amazing sight ... he was the one to notice the Octopus and signal me over to it ... Craig, Thank you, you made my whole trip with that!

We rested a bit in Marsa Breika bay between dives, and i took the opportunity of the calm water to re-attempt free diving. trying to get the same sensations i talked about before here. And again I made it to 15 metres (14.9 actually) and it all came back to me again! My God I AM so small ... another surprise was the dive time (3 minutes 37 seconds) ... I still can't believe it ... now i feel more crazy about it and want to do it again... the feeling you get when you're down there, complete silence surrounds you, u can see the surface really far away and the light is dancing with the waters moving surface, u feel so small it's overwhelming ...

last dive was in JackFish Alley, it wasn't bad really ... nice views in the caves and a big murray was posing for pictures for a while ... too bad the light wasn't really strong so the pictures came out a bit hazy .... but then again i took the Murray on video (he3he3).

I came back in really high spirits ... and now Cairo is trying to take that all back from me ... i just hope it doesn't succeed too quickly :)

P.s. will upload some pictures to this post later but i'm still downloading photoshop so i can add my signature to them.

And, Happy Valentines to everyone out there ... this time i'm single and it wasn't that bad (as if there was much of a difference when i wasn't the last time), i spent mine on the road listening to JEM ... which leads me to another thing:
My song to you ladies and gentlemen is yet another Jem track which will make most of you think of me as completely desperate :) ... but really enjoy
track from me to you guys (especially the ladies hehe) is Jem~ Come On Closer

will be uploaded shortly on the egroup

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


well ... the girl does have a few nice songs ... they're just really soothing ...
i actually owe it to her that i feel good especially with how the past 24 hours have been. I guess someone was right when they said music affected me too much.
Today I've been working on my project the whole day ... lets just say i was working and the project was not :( ... so i came up with the conclusion that i would start things from scratch ... that meaning that i even would not work and start reading about it all over again ... and my project partner somehow assigned me as team leader ... and is seeking me for advice although i'm more ignorant than she will ever be!!! good thing is ... it's my last year with computers... hopefully ...
gee why can't i stop thinking or similarities in the wrongest of times...

so back to what i was saying ... in the midst of all this ... this track really cheeered me up along the way ... first it caught my attention as a nice tune as i was driving around today ... then when i focused more i liked it even more ... makes a great background to whatever you do too :)

song of the day ladies and gents is yet another JEM track and it's called : THEY

Monday, February 11, 2008


Song of the day ... the most amazing track i've heard in quite a while:
Jem ~ 24
will send it off on the group tomorrow

Been given 24 hours
to tie up loose ends
to make amends
His eyes said it all
I started to fall
and the silence deafened
Head spinning round
no time to sit down
just wanted to
run and run and run
Be careful they say
don't wish life away,
now I've one day

And I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time

In 24 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

Is there a heaven a hell
and will I come back
who can tell
Now I can see
what matters to me
it's as clear as crystal
The places I've been
the people I've seen
plans that I made
start to fade
The sun's setting gold
thought I would grow old,
it wasn't to be

And I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time

In 18 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

In 13 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
Please do it for me

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it

And I can't believe
How much I've wasted my time

In just 8 hours they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

In just 1 hour they'll be
laying flowers
on my life, it's over tonight
I'm not messing no I
need your blessing
and your promise to live free
please do it for me

Sunday, February 10, 2008




Friday, February 8, 2008

In Order To Make An Omlette, You Have Got To Break Some Eggs

Thanks Tyler ...
It's good getting one of the most inspirational quotes to you from a fictional character in a movie in which he didn't even exist.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Dear Ghazza/Hamas people

You get under siege, and we open up OUR country to get you food.
You break in with cars and make riots.
They cut off electricity and oil from you.
So we let you in, yet i never see someone returning with cartons other than those of cigarettes and potato chips.
We allow you in so that you won't starve, and you use that to arrange for some suicide attack in a mall, and not just that, you announce it clearly you got through to the Israeli side from the Egyptian borders.
so much for gratitude!
and the little cherry on top of the pie is ... you shoot 45 Egyptian soldiers on the border!

Obviously you people are abusing what is not even yours. We try to help and this is what we get?
I'm feeling extremely sorry for the other poor people that are equated to you when they're also called Palestinians. And that's all I'll say about the matter.
If I open my country to save the Palestinians and this is what they do, then they definitely don't wanna be saved, and agreeing with D, i don't have a reason to want them in my country any more.

I apologize for any Palestinians reading this. I apologize to all the Palestinians i know (including my cousins). This is not targeted against you in particular, but you have to agree with me that what's happening is unfair!

Monday, February 4, 2008


Today is a really interesting day ... i started studying electronic circuits for the third year in a row (hope i pass it this time).
Today marks my maybe 100th attempt to quit smoking.
Today marks the first day in a loooong while in which i wakeup feeling better about myself.
Despite all that, i'm still craving beer. and alot of other things i quit a year ago.
Maybe it's my subconscious searching for other things to get hooked on if i'm not smoking...

anyways ... i hope my quitting lasts more than three days this time :P

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I wrote a big fat long entry here and i just clicked Ctrl+A ... Delete

I decided all i was writing was crap. I was ranting on about how i faced this and that and now i'm rebelling and not taking it and blablablabla ... then i thought... my God this looks so fucking familiar i can just shoot myself!
I keep saying i'm not gonna repeat this and i do ... i keep saying i'm not gonna make the same mistakes again and i find myself doing it ... why the hell am i so fucking weak?!
I decided it's just enough of this crap ... if you can't force yourself to do it ... then force the situation so that you're forced into doing it ... because you're compelled to.


and yes i've written and done this a zillion times ... and yes somehow it's a never ending cycle ... ironically i'm doing it again because of another cycle ... but then again ... what the fuck! take me to the dry cleaners for this stain just doesn't wanna go away...