Monday, January 15, 2007

The Act is OVER!!! The Joy is REAL!!!

well tonight, despite my being bored as hell, am in a good mood. And i have to give most of the credit of this to Dalia, who's currently like the best person i could ever talk to online ... betfokk 3o2det lesaany mesh 3aref ezzay... :D
today i discovered my exact complaint of me ... and since i finally have my finger on that bitch, i could certainly work on it much faster and definitely much easier. It's actually a very stupid thing that probably dates back to a kazillion years ago ... maybe even before highschool ... and that is that i was never the cool kid in class, and certainly never felt like i was getting that much attention anywhere, added that my dad always and still never makes me feel like i'm responsible enough or fit enough to take the responsibility of anything ... so i simply acted (e7mmm ... and still am) against it. I constantly try to make anything related to me appear as sophisticated as it can be ... as complicated as it can ever reach ... and my experiences as hard and hectic as they can look ... simply to show that image that's a total opposite to all that i've been getting. In other words, i always strive to be different ... eccentric at times maybe, add alot of drama to situations for extra viewers ( or more accurately to attract more attention to me ) and make every task i have to do look like it's the thing that's totally killing me and would kill everyone else who attempts it.... i made my life look harder and alot more unpleasant than it is ... or more accurately sometimes even turned the pleasant part into an unpleasant one. I think the only thing that's been away from these visual transformation would have to be my love life.
anywayz, back to the point... so as i did this over the years it started evolving and developing into more advanced forms, and certainly more results ... exceeding the frame or domain of the intentions (though all were subconscious) truely behind all this. that is that besides working on showing everyone how unique and responsible and blablabla all that things i am, which i didn't believe myself obviously and obviously sucked at showing too, i convinced myself that my facade was real.... so the only true spectator that got to believe the act was me ... and the other spectators didn't get anything from the intended act, instead, most of them just got to the conclusion that i'm just that miserable wierdo :) ...
saba7 el habal right??
well ... i guess all we have to do is to stop acting ... stop playing with the proportions of things in life ... we all have responsibilities, let's just enjoy what we can from them instead of turning them into a horror movie that ends up being so cheap and gets no box office success ... and being the only victims of our terror ... we mesh fahem eih el metaphores el ta3baana elly nazla 3ala dmaa3'y dy!!!! :D lol
anywayz ... that'll be the title for my next period ... stand up for it ... only it ... and nothing but it .... just it .... and don't add anything to it ... then it'll be fun
congrats ya kovi :P
corny and lovin it!

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