Tonight i feel much better ... calmer ... less bitter. Although I still am not forgiving anything ... and don't think i will in a long time.
I owe my great feeling to Wessam, Ghaleb, and Rage Against the Machine.
Wessam: you might not believe it bass finding something wrong DID make me feel more satisfied and comfortable about everything ... although I still bardo cannot forgive all the illusions made.
Ghaleb: Thanks for bringing up that jam thing ... i needed to let out all this Energy
Rage: well ... it was you i was imitating :)
Now for the story. I went today to a jam and for the first time i was vocaling! I sang only one song but my GOD my throat still hurts :D ... The song's "Killing in The Name" by Rage Against the Machine. and who knows, we might actually take it further into being a real project :D
Anyways, i'm glad it did have a great effect on me ... hope i do this again sometime