Saturday, November 17, 2007

same circles

today was a better day than yesterday ... lots of work ... lots of going round town ... i'm really tired ... but feel alot better ... my car's supposedly fixed yet i haven't tried it yet ... was driving my dad's all day ... my God 3 liter engines do suck so much gas!!!!
anyways ... on other levels though, it hasn't been such a good day. I hate it when i bypass my fears and give my vulnerability-phobia a chance to be overcome then totally regret it. It's like you always find little pointers attracting your attention, like alarm signals that make you go "Uh oh ... this feels familiar ..." problem is that the faint memory of the familiarity is not something you wanna go through .... leaves me wondering if i'll ever be able to get over this. will i ever be able to be normal ... if my expectations are actually feasible ... or is it not my expectations that are insane ...
thing is ... i'm sick of thinking ... i wanna feel for a change ... i feel all the time ... but want it to be good this time!

To all my group members, today i don't have one but two songs for you ... enjoy ...
Sarah McLachlan's song in quite famous so no lyrics here :P
plus the other one has been played more today :)

Enjoy and hope this relates to someone out there ...

Whatcha Gonna Do Lyrics by Sprung Monkey

Lately I've been wonderin' who I am
Because it's coming clear that there's
A world of things
That I don't quite understand
I've always tried to look straight in the eyes
I try to see the man I try to see the plan
I try to know what's on his mind
But I never thought that I'd have to stare at you
No I never thought someone so close
Could be so far from view
Well I guess it's time for me to realize
That trust is just a word
Not something I ever knew
But whatcha gonna do
Cause my dreams leave me cold and empty now
You know I tried so hard to laugh
But I just don't know how
Cause wrapped around the thought of everything
Are the hands of a theif
Who took that trust from me
But whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do
About the things that happen suddenly
About all the things that I could never see
All the times that I've sat and bought the lie
All the times I've laughed and wondered why
I realized I was owned by my defenses
Never took the time never saw my chances
Always thought the people coming round
Was just another person trying to bring me down
But yeah whatcha gonna do

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