You never said forever is gonna hurt like this
I wanna live
I wanna love
But it's a long hard road out of hell


~ Marilyn Manson

SHES BACK ON THE ROAD!!!!

Ka3boora's back on the road ladies and gents :)

mechanical work is almost done ... now for a few face lifts, butt work, some accessories AND MAJOR CLEANING!!!!

i think i might end up marrying this car :D

the farther I ... fall I'm beside you
as lost as I get ... I will find you
the deeper the wound ... I'm inside you
for ever and ever I'm a part of


YOU!

Nine Inch Nails (NIN) ~ We're in this together

We Just Lost Cabin Pressure

.

Thank God for That!!!

"I don't see myself when I look in the mirror ... I see who I should be
I don't see myself when I look in your eyes ... Thank God for that!!

I don't see myself when I look cross the river ... I see where I should be
I don't see myself when I look from the sky ... Thank God for that!!

I don't see myself when they fail to deliver ... I see what I should be
I don't see myself when I look at the flag ... Thank God for that!!"




quoting StarSailor ~ In the Crossfire

...

it's been a really long day... He comes back home, goes to the bathroom and decides to wash it all away. He turns the hot water up, takes off his clothes, and sits on the toilet watching the steam rise to take on everything around him. His favorite thing is undergoing heart surgery and he feels too sad for her. He's just too worried. He remembers he's still got his shoes on... Takes those off as well. He's thinking about her again, if thinks about tomorrow, and how he has to go find his ka3boora a new heart. People can laugh at him for being so touched and attached to his car. But he just won't care, after all it's his most beloved thing ever... It's the only thing that was actually there in both the good and the bad, and made him feel better in all his times of need.
He obviously had his shoes on too tight that he's stuck there unable to move out of how numb his feet are...
At least he now has something to laugh at/about :)

"I'm Not an Artist I'm A Fucking Work of Art"

Marilyn Manson ~ (S)aint

Chronicles of HE

HE gets a call routed from outer space. HELLEEEEEWWWWW ... it's her!
for the first time in a loong while, she's calling again ... why now? ... oh well ... it's a big day and it's probable she's decent enough to ask how it went ... but hey, when she's in town she doesn't bother and now she's calling through outer space?? ... interesting ... indeed
conversation goes like it usually does ... nothing meaningful ... how's life? blablabla ... she hates her most financially rewarding job ... he hates his delayed life in Cairo ... oh well ... everyone seems to be calling him for no other reason than to bitch about their lives ... he can take one more ...
"I really miss you!" .... the words stormed into his ears and the whole world froze ... he stuttered a bit and managed to make a joke out of things ... but wait a minute ... WHAT???!!!
what the hell is that supposed to mean?? like seriously what good could come out of that?? is this yet another attempted cycle??
his head is whirlpooling with ideas ... visions .. one thing is common between all of them, none of them are pleasant. bitterness struck his heart like blunt knives ... the kind the would hurt but not cut ... he wants to just scream it all out in her face but it would never go as he plans ... and he'll never be able to portray it the right way ... he's just sick of feeling like such an ornament ... an instrument ... sometimes he just needs to vent it out

Darkness

For the past two days i've been considering changing the way this page looks ... it used to be black before ... and when i decided to change things a little i set it as dark gray...
Trying other colors over the past two days just never felt right! it can't be bright ... by no means can it be bright ...
the theme stays as it is ...

Sitting ... waiting ... wishing

Today i hopefully took my last exam in college ... hopefully now i've passed this phase in my life ... which is one major step towards getting where i want in life ...
Now all i have to worry about is getting out of Geish, and working my way up from there. my fingers are all crossed.

The past week has been very rich musically... i spent hours studying which means hours of music. Each day i rediscover and obsess with a track, and each day i find a new one. loud songs, old songs, chilled out songs ... you name it, i've passed through it all ... but i guess it just came down to one song that really stuck in the middle of all that ... and it was Jack Johnson's "Sitting Waiting Wishing" ... a major recommendation to all you people out there

get the song if you don't have it, and enjoy :)

Chronicles of HE

He's going back to this state again. He's missing something, a concept maybe. A dream he was trying to catch that now looks so far away. A sense of relief he used to get from the thought of being on a certain track, a line, a light he followed through his tunnel that just started getting dimmer and dimmer, till he can't see it anymore.
He stumbles across reminders everyday, every hour, or even more. Reminders of his mistakes, good memories, bad memories, but they all had one things in common... calling them mistakes will surely be premature judgment, they're all things that just went wrong. And it's how they got that way that he's constantly trying to figure out.
Word games, music, places he drives, foods, cafes, a wonderful 30 day diary, pictures, and loads of thoughts. He wants it all back in a way, but he sure as hell knows that he can't. Even if some things are acquirable they sure as hell can't be all acquired together, and acquiring any of them in particular doesn't look like a great idea either.
He knows, but he still feels that way though. Maybe it's insanity, or maybe it's just plain human. He's constantly fighting against all reason, it all meant something to him, but to the whole world it might seam otherwise.
Maybe each and every memory was just part of his big dream. None of them had everything, none of them were completely right either. In their combination is his comfort. Maybe that's it: The things he misses in them separately are what he wants combined... now how selfish is that? or is it plain ambitious?
Another question might be: Well if you know all the variables in the equation like you portray in your head, then how come you still feel that way? how come you miss each and every single one of these memories if you know how wrong they are as a whole?
And the most logical answer remains: it's the concept, the track, the line, the light! the hope that maybe something would turn into the best thing that could ever happen to you...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, loneliness is a bitch!

Musique-al update!

Well i've been confining myself in my home to focus on studying for my last exam next thursday. I'm bored to death, and i'm studying at an unbelievably slow pace :S ... however it's picking up more everyday. which is good. Other bright sides to it is that i'm not smoking, and for some reason i hardly ever feel the urge to smoke when i'm home. and ofcourse i spend much less :D

Another side-effect of being confined in my room is that i must have music on, so my last fm scrobbler has been really happy for the past few days, and i have to say i'm happy i'm rediscovering lots of things i haven't listened to in a LOOOONG time. I'm obsessing about different bands every 6 hours :D

Live, Pearl Jam, Muse, and currently StarSailor :)


And Hey, everyone reading this should check out Starsailor's album "On The Outside"

Random Thoughts

* My sister looked absolutely amazing on her Katb-Ktaab
* Ka3boora looks very sexy from my window, but i'm still not gonna fix her before my exam ... keep on trying to tempt me you bitch!!!
* Why does google have to notify me that i commented on my own bloody post?? don't you think i know already??
* I'm totally not a group person i finally decided. I function better and totally appreciate one on ones ... be it with a guy or girl
* البقاء لله
* i think i should restart my battle against nicotine soon
* I stayed home for almost the entire day and didn't exceed 11 pages of studying :$
* hopefully i'll get in rhythm tomorrow
* I need some change of surrounding, or creatures in my surrounding
*I listened to more Fountains of Wayne in the past 24 hours than i did my entire life
* I need to go around more with Nickie ... maybe shoot some night scenes i've been contemplating for a while

Temporary Peace

As much as they do rock and i love them most of the time, but people really do suck sometimes!!


thanks for making my state of peace temporary...

9-10-08

This date marks my sister's Katb Ketaab. My sister is getting officially married, and although i'm sure it doesn't show at all, i'm actually super happy/excited for her.

Noona, I love you! and i wish you all the happiness in the world. More happiness than you can ever imagine. Happiness that would stay with you for eternity.

On bright sides ... :)

suddenly i'm starting to enjoy the bad things when they happen, and also their consequences. After my happy eid was over, i decided just for the heck of it to go to Sudr with a coupla friends of mine, my car isn't in the perfect shape for such a trip but i thought 'what the hell!'. I went to Sudr and did absolutely nothing but sleep and chill doing absolutely NOTHING! and guess what! it was a BLAST!!
on the way back my car as expected broke down, and i was left with my two friends stranded in the middle of the highway trying to hitch-hike or at least make someone stop :D ... finally when we jump started it from the truck of one kind man, we drove back for an hour and a half to cairo in complete darkness! so the trip wasn't really void of any action was it??!! :) oh and for Ka3boora (my car) to prove to me that it has a mind of its own, it died again the instant we reached cairo! before i even got home:) she might be a bitch but i still love her!!

anyways, so i'm now without a car, and usually i'm too lazy to go anywhere without having a car since Taxi drivers are both assholes and ripoffs, it sounds like a perfect opportunity for me to just sit there at home and study for my exam which is in less than ten days!! good idea yeah??? anyways, if any of you would care to pass by and take me out for a Shisha, i still wouldn't mind at all :D

MY Happy Eid :)

Actually I take it back. It was a really happy Eid. And my favorite part of it all is that it was all unplanned. This eid i met a really interesting person, and spent the whole time doing things i absolutely love doing, and hopefully helping someone (her) enjoy her time which i also love doing :)
i did lots of photography, went to lots of my favorite spots, went swimming, late night driving, sang out loud and make myself look stupid, and had tons of great conversations enjoying the best views :)

i'm happy, and grateful, and very sad it was so short ... but i still have a smile on my face everytime i think about it. It's been a really long while since i felt genuine enjoyment :)

Happy Eid

to everyone who reads this. Something in me is just glad Ramadan is over ... was pretty hectic ... but then again my whole life is starting to be... i'm just hanging in there, and hope all this could just be over soon...\

koll sana wento