Friday, January 18, 2008

subconscious flow

a friend of mine wrote an interesting note that i totally related to today ... about those feelings that overwhelm us for no logical reason ... i can say i related to it at first, but just a minute ago it struck me. No i don't ... and once again i'm blaming it on my subconscious...
our subconscious mind is a very mighty and devious thing. i don't mean to dramatize it, but it really is.
I just had one of those moments of overwhelmment and i instantly remembered her. This time it was not a feeling of joy, it was total bitterness, like a huge big dark cloud has just set upon me. This time i decided to focus and find the reason. a low voice was singing in the background "call your name everyday ... when i feel so helpless ... i'm falling down ... but i'll rise above this" ... i never even knew the song was playing ... but upon realising that i started feeling so lonely i could die!
could it be true that our subconscious just works on it's own ... like i'm two similar people in one body but with each acting in it's own separate direction???
i think it might be true ... anyways ... it led me to seriously doubt that feelings come for no reason. and now i don't know any more ....
all i can say is ... thanks again my great friendly subconscious piece of shit for reminding me cause now i can't stop think of how lonely i feel tonight.

have a good night

1 comment:

sava said...

Hajekov... thanks for sharing this with me and I'm sorry you had to feel bad yesterday and that my thought somehow triggered a subconsious negativity and that you were overwhelmed by negative thoughts. Believe me when I wrote that note I was in a good mood and I only wanted to write about positive and I really didn't intend to trigger any bad feelings in anyone but I'm amazed that somehow you all looked at the note and found it missing of negative feelings and you all went against it. I agree that we all feel bad from time to time and regularly we feel lonely and I must tell you that yesterday evening I was very lonely for one reason or another or maybe thats just because I didn't go out yesterday but I still insist that good feelings could exist alone and I don't regret writing a note expressing everything in good feelings.

Yeah sometimes I believe the subconsious works on itself, I even sometimes get a flow of thoughts that I have no clue where they came from, they are so unrelated to anything I was doing bas they just happen to happen, I see this girl and I suddenly start imagining that she could be kidnapped but she's a poor girl why would anyone kidnap her then I go to the point of thinking how someone who kidnapps would get away with anything and how they escape from the police, they must have their way, ya3ny how do they receive the money LOL if they are kidnapping for ransom, the police must be able to identify them somehow... "NOW TELL ME WHY DID THESE THOUGHTS EVER COME TO MY BRAIN LOL I BLAME THE SUBCONSCIOUSNESS :D"

keep the flow going and let me know if you reply to my note...