NO?

I've been thinking lately, mainly about my life and how i'm getting by... about my problems (mainly with my own self) ... and it hit me, as always, that my greatest of problems is that i can't restrain myself or force myself into sticking to something... I just suck at being that person who would just do the right thing despite all the pressure ... i admit it now and forever ... i usually take the easy way out of things...
This led me to another imagination ... how would life be if you don't have to go any difficulties between you and yourself to force yourself into something you should do yet you don't want to? how would life be if you don't feel that urge to get back to whatever wrong thing it is that you're supposed to be quitting?? imagine if an addict could quit just like that, if you decide your long lasting relationship is not working out and you have to end it and you can just do that without feeling the urge to get back cause you still love the person ... just imagine if it were just so easy to tell yourself "NO!"
how would life be?

i'm confused ... i'm taking the turn ... i'm confident ... i'm afraid ... i'm broken ... and this is getting very difficult ...

i need a big hug