Question?!

What happens if you find someone who has everything you want in a girl/guy ... yet gives you nothing of anything you would want from a girl/guy?!

Alanis should have thought about that while writing 'ironic'

Song of the week without any competition is Massive Attack's "Unfinished Sympathy"

So my bioclock is totally fucked thanks to my having to wake up all night studying before the testing exam. i'm awake by night and sleeping by late afternoon. i'm trying to study that microprocessor thing we're being examined in by sunday but somehow it just feels so much like studying history. Nothing except dates and new stuff included in the freaking things ... why the fuck am i supposed to study the history ... may2ololna koll 7aaga lazet-ha eih w 7'alaas w nel3ab e7na ba2a ... i spent two hours reading about this one processor just to know at the end that its design proved to be useless and had to be replaced ... ARE THEY FUCKING KIDDING ME???!!!!
rabbena yostor begadd...
the wonder period is still in session, but now i'm wondering about all people i know/knew/am acquainted with. pretty insane and useless maybe. i spent hours reviewing my contacts on msn, my God why do i have that long list of people i don't even talk to most of the time?? and the weird thing is, i still didn't get myself to unblock or delete most of them. (i forgot to tell you, most of my list but a few has been blocked for a while)... mesh tanaaka bass seriously i needed to just ... stay in a smaller circle for a while.
I'm still wondering when the hell i'm gonna be more organized in my thoughts, when will i feel that a post of mine on this blog ever makes sense (no wonder i'm not getting any comments) ...
anywayz me back to MP
blurb is out

ROBB SODFA!

well ... i just stumbled over something by coincidence a few minutes ago that made me go too nostalgic (again?!) ... but well, a minute later that nostalgia was accompanied and actually overwhelmed by total wonder and curiosity. Why do all things that you might want just happen at the totally wrong time? such a time in which you can never notice them or appreciate them in. Sometimes you're hasty, sometimes it's others that are guilty of this haste but then again ... it's just wrong timing, and in my case, i've been always carries the blame for both hastes, mine and other people's.
In this particular piece of memory, it was something initiated by someone else's haste, and ended by mine ... and i'm now blamed for both ... the point is, i don't care about any of that anymore (because i shouldn't judging by the way things are) but i'm saddened by two thing. One: the hasty initiator refusing to carry any blame for it, Two: the uncertainty of mine that never leaves me. This uncertainty was the thing that made me abandon this project ...
was i going with the flow? i'd hate it if that were true ... but why did it have to all go that way? what if it went differently? what if it happened a bit later? what if i was more certain? what if the door wasn't shut that fast and that abruptly? what does it mean that i just ignored the whole thing all of a sudden? why do i think about it that often? why is it that whenever i decide to go somewhere i have to hesitate and go back so as to just hesitate and return to the first place again and so on and on and on? Will i ever stop?? was it me in the first place? why am i not comfortable in any of the places there are? what if i was still there right now? why is it that i just can't stop asking these questions and wonder? get it?
i myself still don't
AARGH i just wish i had a time controller ...
one last question: why is trial and error only applicable in maths? why isn't it that applicable with life or living beings? don't u think it would've been nice?
anyways, i'm feeling like crap now.

Current music: Nine Inch Nails ~ Only

p.s. thanks Dalia for this song i owe you bigtime

Shamma3aatik ya hollanda

this has nothing to do with the real holland but it's an expression we use when we're surprised about anything here. I love it when people do stuff and ask for stuff, and when they get it or they're done the same they get really pissed. and i love it when people go around and eventually a decade later blame wutever shit they're in on you. and ofcourse you wouldn't dare go near that perspective because it's nonsense unless it's theirs ... good luck!!!!
i wonder if that's gonna be the last time or am i gonna be stupid enough to endure more?

Code Of Ethics (an interesting response i got)

I received this response on my email from Kristen, a researcher on education and its effects on Egyptian identity, it had some interesting points so i thought sharing it would be beneficial. It actually shows me how much work we need to do to order to rectify the image of our system. I replied but in a very unorganized manner, will put it in order and post it later :)

Hey there,
So I didn't post this because it is long and complex, but feel free if you want to discuss it with your friends. I had a few questions about your position. I mean, you do admit the one thing about religion that drives secularists, and therefore many Westerners, crazy and that is the contradiction religion presents its followers with. Judaism, Christianity and Islam all are guilty of being contradictory about being both tolerant of other religions and yet condemning them at the same time. Yes, you are supposed to respect people of other religions, but if you don't believe that they are practicing God's command correctly, you are creating an "us" versus "them" mentality, you are saying to some extent that you are better than them... no? This is in itself, at least it would seem to me, a contradiction that is impossible to reconcile. Therefore, some people of course are going to follow the former more fervently and truly tolerate others, truly believe that those others have just as much a chance of going to heaven as themselves even if they don't follow the same religion. But there will also be those who follow the latter more and who conclude that their religion's followers are the only ones who will be saved on Judgment Day, who believe themselves to be better than others simply because they follow God's "correct" path (this can be a Jew, a Christian, or a Muslim). Finally, what about the people who don't believe in religion or in God at all? Are they just damned straight off the bat or is there also tolerance for them?

I want to explain real quick the idea of Western Liberalism. It is the idea that people should be tolerant of other people's views, religions, ways of life and that the state should not impose anything on its people to limit this in any way. It creates a core, definite code of ethics from the religions of Judaism, Christianity and Islam to base its laws on and keep order in the society. But anything that can be deemed personal choice is a private matter that the state is not supposed to intervene into. I will be the first to admit that this theory, like religions, does not play out perfectly in practice. But I do argue that it provides a much more solid basis than religion for toleration of the views and lifestyles of others because there is no way to interpret it as otherwise. What do you think?

Finally, you really think that Egyptian religious education has no impact whatsoever on the development of Egyptian minds? I hear people say all the time they just forgot it all, but then they strongly remember their specific religious teacher who taught them this and that or they realize that they pray the same exact way they were taught in school, etc. Are you saying that the Egyptian religious education system is not based on the religions it says it is or that it does not, at least, reinforce what you learn in other places (home or the mosque)??

Hope all is well,
Kristen

oh and i forgot .. i've been playing around with the camera and a magnifying glass i bought off the street the other day taking some seriously funny self-portraits :D check this out

PLEASE!!!

I'm in exams... next exam is the usual easy subject that noone studies ... and that's exactly what i'm doing... NOT studying.
i'm feeling a bit bummed up that i didn't here from the Sinai job people yet, which is not good ... specially that there're other job opportunities that i'm ignoring on hopes of getting this one ... and i fear that if i apply for those and get the Sinai one, then i'll have to ditch them for it (NOT GOOD) and then if i don't and don't get the Sinai as well then i'd be hanging out to dry :S ... very confusing.
i did a little 7araka 7'abeesa today sending out emails from my unused yahoo account to everyone on my mailing list saying that i'm changing addrsses to my gmail and guess who's on the list of recipients, of course, my Sinai Job contact ... lol ... i really have lots of childish tendencies :D
i'm not feeling bad at all ... maybe i've become too numb out of the past period, i'm just bothered my sleeping habits are the shittiest ever... today i woke up at 4pm!!! it just sucks. i just hope things don't turn out to be coming back into the same old routine ... and i just discovered how unorganized this paragraph is since there ain't more than two sentences talking about a certain subject on its own ... i'm leaving it that way anyhow. ...
i'm tired and i'm happy ... had a two hour long bath today :) ...
song of the moment: Staind ~ Please