LOL

sne3t el masal da fel nick beta3 7add 3al list beta3et el msn we mesh 2ader amsek nafsy mel de7k men sa3et-ha

3ABBAR EL 3EFESH ... YETNEFESH!!!!!!


LOOOL

could it be?

could it be that i'm just needing this and you are the shortest pathway leading to it so that's why i'm holding on? could it be that i'm just subconsciously following my desires? Could that be why i'm being forceful? am i forceful? could it be that it would never be fulfilled with you? could i do it without you? could it be that i've become an addict to a certain sensation? could it be that i'm addicted to you? could it be that you're not the one? could it be anyone? could i just be free from all this? could i live without thinking about this once at least every hour? could we be just friends? could we live happily ever after? could we do that together? could it be useless?
COULD IT BE THAT I'M GOING INSANE???!!!

Question?!

What happens if you find someone who has everything you want in a girl/guy ... yet gives you nothing of anything you would want from a girl/guy?!

Alanis should have thought about that while writing 'ironic'

Song of the week without any competition is Massive Attack's "Unfinished Sympathy"

So my bioclock is totally fucked thanks to my having to wake up all night studying before the testing exam. i'm awake by night and sleeping by late afternoon. i'm trying to study that microprocessor thing we're being examined in by sunday but somehow it just feels so much like studying history. Nothing except dates and new stuff included in the freaking things ... why the fuck am i supposed to study the history ... may2ololna koll 7aaga lazet-ha eih w 7'alaas w nel3ab e7na ba2a ... i spent two hours reading about this one processor just to know at the end that its design proved to be useless and had to be replaced ... ARE THEY FUCKING KIDDING ME???!!!!
rabbena yostor begadd...
the wonder period is still in session, but now i'm wondering about all people i know/knew/am acquainted with. pretty insane and useless maybe. i spent hours reviewing my contacts on msn, my God why do i have that long list of people i don't even talk to most of the time?? and the weird thing is, i still didn't get myself to unblock or delete most of them. (i forgot to tell you, most of my list but a few has been blocked for a while)... mesh tanaaka bass seriously i needed to just ... stay in a smaller circle for a while.
I'm still wondering when the hell i'm gonna be more organized in my thoughts, when will i feel that a post of mine on this blog ever makes sense (no wonder i'm not getting any comments) ...
anywayz me back to MP
blurb is out

ROBB SODFA!

well ... i just stumbled over something by coincidence a few minutes ago that made me go too nostalgic (again?!) ... but well, a minute later that nostalgia was accompanied and actually overwhelmed by total wonder and curiosity. Why do all things that you might want just happen at the totally wrong time? such a time in which you can never notice them or appreciate them in. Sometimes you're hasty, sometimes it's others that are guilty of this haste but then again ... it's just wrong timing, and in my case, i've been always carries the blame for both hastes, mine and other people's.
In this particular piece of memory, it was something initiated by someone else's haste, and ended by mine ... and i'm now blamed for both ... the point is, i don't care about any of that anymore (because i shouldn't judging by the way things are) but i'm saddened by two thing. One: the hasty initiator refusing to carry any blame for it, Two: the uncertainty of mine that never leaves me. This uncertainty was the thing that made me abandon this project ...
was i going with the flow? i'd hate it if that were true ... but why did it have to all go that way? what if it went differently? what if it happened a bit later? what if i was more certain? what if the door wasn't shut that fast and that abruptly? what does it mean that i just ignored the whole thing all of a sudden? why do i think about it that often? why is it that whenever i decide to go somewhere i have to hesitate and go back so as to just hesitate and return to the first place again and so on and on and on? Will i ever stop?? was it me in the first place? why am i not comfortable in any of the places there are? what if i was still there right now? why is it that i just can't stop asking these questions and wonder? get it?
i myself still don't
AARGH i just wish i had a time controller ...
one last question: why is trial and error only applicable in maths? why isn't it that applicable with life or living beings? don't u think it would've been nice?
anyways, i'm feeling like crap now.

Current music: Nine Inch Nails ~ Only

p.s. thanks Dalia for this song i owe you bigtime

Shamma3aatik ya hollanda

this has nothing to do with the real holland but it's an expression we use when we're surprised about anything here. I love it when people do stuff and ask for stuff, and when they get it or they're done the same they get really pissed. and i love it when people go around and eventually a decade later blame wutever shit they're in on you. and ofcourse you wouldn't dare go near that perspective because it's nonsense unless it's theirs ... good luck!!!!
i wonder if that's gonna be the last time or am i gonna be stupid enough to endure more?